he two private investigators walked side by side. One of them, a man named Badger, could be described as average in just about every department: average height, average weight, average stubble on his face, average coat on his back, and a pair of average shoes that were in need of replacement due to all the walking.

The other investigator was anything but average—a living skeleton, animated by unknown means. He was called Bones, for obvious reasons, and was wearing a stylish fedora. The investigators walked through the winding streets of Legion City. Traffic was busy around this time. Short of learning to fly, which they didn’t have the time or resources for, walking was their fastest option. It was a nice afternoon stroll down the streets. Sunlight shone through the gaps in the buildings, and most early-morning workers were on their way home.

The investigators had just taken on a peculiar case—a strange man wanted them to help him find an old family heirloom. The man hadn’t given his name, so they defaulted to calling him “V.H.” since a real name probably wouldn’t suit him. Aside from a promise of payment, the only thing V.H. gave them was a picture of a spherical red jewel, and a location—the Shadow Over Inn.

Bones was not particularly fond of these circumstances.

“Alright, Bones, how’s this? If we see something that’s really bad we just walk away,” said Badger.

Bones shook his head.

“I don’t think he’ll like that. I’m still not certain he isn’t some kind of fiend of the night. It makes me feel uneasy.”

Badger was annoyed. “Bones, you’re a skeleton, you think people don’t feel uneasy whenever you’re around?”

“I know they don’t feel uneasy, because I wear this hat,” replied Bones, taking off his fedora in a matter-of-fact way.

As Bones showed off the hat, there was an audible gasp as someone was stunned by the sight of a living skeleton. Bones quickly put the hat back on.

“See? I dress to put people at ease. V.H. dresses specifically to look suspicious. Besides, what would we even say to him?”

Badger shrugged. “I don’t know. Tell him it goes against the Hippocratic Oath or something.”

Bones let out a sigh. “We’re not doctors. Do you even know what you’re saying, or do you just throw out words?”

No reply from Badger. He was looking around in confusion. He looked at his watch. 

“It’s still three o’clock. What happened to the sun? Where is everyone?”

Bones stopped and realized what had just happened. He didn’t have an answer—how to explain the environment entirely changing? The sunlight disappeared, the sounds of cars and workers were gone. They were walking down a lonely street in the middle of the night.

“I don’t know. You still know where we’re going?” asked Bones.

Badger scratched his chin, looking down the street. “Yeah, I think so at least. Should be right round the corner.”

he pair walked further into the night. The buildings on either side of the street were filled with dozens of windows, but there were no doors or alleys—window uniformity all the way down. And there was nothing behind the windows, just a void. Badger tried not to think about what might hide behind nothing, nothing good to be sure. 

Turning the street corner Bones saw a single streetlight about halfway down the block.

“Odd...why do they only have one streetlight? What’s the point in that?” Badger tapped the top of Bone’s humerus with the back of his hand. “Look what’s under it.” 

Bones followed the top of the streetlight to its base. A lone dark figure was leaning against the post, absentmindedly twirling a cane.

“Of course,” said Bones. “How long do you think he’s been waiting there?”

Badger shrugged. “Quite frankly, I think that’s all he does in his spare time. Let’s just get it over with.”

V.H. greeted them, arms outstretched.

“Welcome, my good men. You’ve come in good time. Rationality is still unknown, the players still weigh their options, gauging outcomes and payoffs. Together we shall see Equilibrium soon enough.”

Badger appreciated the sentiment but winced at the execution. Out of the corner of his eye, he thought he saw Bones shiver.

“Follow me, the inn is this way,” said V.H. With a flourish of the cane and a dust of the coat he disappeared into the dark street beyond.

Badger turned to his partner. “Do you have any idea what he just said?”

Bones’s head tilted slightly left. “I think he was talking about economics. Either way, it doesn’t boost my confidence.”

Badger thought about it for a moment, but economics was too daunting a field for him to make any progress. “Let’s just not think about it.”

With a disapproving sigh from Bones they walked into the inky black of the alleyway that hadn’t been there before. Darkness gave way to a neon light. The word Open glowing from the door of the Shadow Over Inn.

V.H. spoke quietly. “I need to ask around for a friend of mine to meet us. Try not to draw much attention—this can be a dark and dangerous place at the drop of a hat.”

V.H. ducked into the doorway like a shadow fleeing from a wayward flashlight. Badger was about to follow when Bones grabbed him by the shoulder. Bones pointed at the sign next to the door.

“How many dark and dangerous places have you been to that do Two-For-Tuesdays?” 

Badger was thrown off by the sign.

Under the Two-For-Tuesdays headline the sign informed them that breakfast was half-off on weekends. Badger didn’t exactly know what to make of it, partly due to his previous resolve to not think too hard about any of this.

The duo walked through the door with exactly zero expectations. The Shadow Over Inn was well-lit, with tables across the floor, booths against the wall, and a stage in the back for performers. The place had a generally friendly atmosphere and seemed to have plenty of normal customers, meaning either V.H. was wrong, or this place worked really hard to hide something.

Bones and Badger sat down at a table and were immediately greeted by a waiter.

“How are we doing tonight, guys? Hope we’re feeling hungry ‘cause we’ve got some great deals tonight. My personal recommendation would be the Sandwich Horror, but please don’t feel any rush. Take all the time you need.”

As quickly as he’d arrived the waiter disappeared through the tables. In the flurry of words the waiter had left a single drinks menu. Bones started reading through. 

“What kind of place only gives one menu?” asked Badger in a slightly annoyed fashion.

Bones looked up. “Would you like me to read off your options?”

Badger sighed. “May as well.”

Bones cleared his lack of a throat. “Pungent Bloody Mary?” 

Badger shook his head.

“Cosmic-politan?” 

Badger shook his head again. 

“Sarnath Sangria?”

Badger didn’t bother this time.

“Xanthous Lemonade?” Bones tapped his finger on the menu. “How about this, The Nameless Soda. ‘Will grant you eyes on the inside’?”

Badger shrugged. “All right, I’ll try that then.”

The waiter returned promptly, as though he possessed an uncanny sense for when customers made up their minds. He took their orders and left again quickly. Clearly he had places to be.

Bones took off his hat, figuring it probably wasn’t necessary at this point.

“Badger, you starting to notice how V.H. seems to just disappear everytime we meet him? He’s hiding something from us, he has to be.”

Badger wanted to do the job and be done with it, even if Bones was probably right.

“We need money.”

V.H. finally joined them at their table.

“Gentlemen, my associate should be with us any minute now.”

“And who exactly is this associate?” Bones asked.

“Let’s just say he’s an old friend.”

Bones let out a sigh. “You do realize that means nothing? Why won’t you be more specific?”

V.H. leaned back in his chair. “I have my reasons.”

Bones slapped his hands on the table. “Again, that means nothing. You can’t just pretend you’ve answered the question!”

At that moment Badger felt a sense of intense panic. He looked at the floor and saw a small hole forming. The hole wasn’t natural—the darkness inside seemed to reach out, taking in all the light. The hole grew, taking up more and more of the floor until it was about two feet across.

Bones and V.H. were arguing about the “old friend” statement, oblivious to what was going on. From the darkness a dark figure rose into the room. Bones and V.H. were now paying attention, but their employer again dashed off casually as if nothing important was happening.

he figure was about six and a half feet tall, with long slender arms that seemed capable of reaching across the room. It wore what looked like ancient robes with a hood that shrouded the face in darkness, except for the eyes, which had an amber glow to them. Tentacle-like appendages hung down from where the mouth would be, incredibly disconcerting for the already stunned Badger. The eyes focused on Badger and a voice that could somehow be described as sanguine filled the air.

“Good afternoon, I’m sorry to have kept you waiting.” 

Bones could see that Badger was still frozen in place, trying to make sense of what was happening.

“Pleasure to meet you, sir. My name is Bones, and this is my partner Badger.” Bones offered his hand for a shake.

“Pleasure, Bones, my name is Jeff. Is Badger gonna be alright?” said Jeff with a hint of concern.

Bones nodded. “It’s not the first time, he’ll be back to normal in a minute.” 

Jeff sat down next to Bones.

“Whatever it is, it’ll need to be quick. The game’s on in 20 minutes.”

Bones handed Jeff the photo of the jewel. “Would you happen to know where this might be found?”

Badger looked over to the stage where a man was getting familiar with a piano. V.H. walked out from a backroom and came to rejoin his companions. He tipped his hat while taking his seat.

Jeff thought for a moment looking at the picture. “I’ve not seen one of these for a very long time. Why do you even want this?” He handed back the photo. “In any case, the only place that would still have one, I think, is one of those sylvanite vaults in which—”

His voice stopped mid sentence as the eyes drifted over to V.H. “Oh, it’s you again.” Jeff buried his face in his hands. “Does a restraining order not mean anything to you? Is this why these guys are here—you set this up?”

V.H. smiled, which was as unsettling as anything in the past five minutes. “Relax, I’m only here for business.”

Badger was eager to return to the subject at hand. “Wait, a vault? Why would it be in a vault?”

V.H. ignored Badger in classic fashion. “So we must find ourselves a sylvanite vault. My thanks, Jeff. Investigators, I must meet a few associates who might be able to locate such a vault. I will rendezvous with you shortly.”

V.H. stood, took a bow, and left just as the server returned with some viscous looking cocktails.

“Every single time, he has to go off and do something. I thought we were the ones who were supposed to do that?” said Badger.

Bones took a sip of his drink and found it tasted significantly better than it looked. Perhaps his lack of taste buds was the reason.

“Badger, he’s doing something wrong. He doesn’t want us to know what he’s up to. Jeff, you know him better than we do, what do you think?”

Jeff shook his head. “I don’t like thinking about him. You’re right not to trust him, Bones, he’s a rotten influence on the people of this town. Anyway, game’s starting soon, would you two care to join me?”

Badger shrugged. “Yeah, why not.”

“Wonderful, come along then. We can watch it from the balcony.” Jeff snapped his fingers, and in the blink of an eye, his robes were replaced with a pair of jeans, a sports jersey with an infinity sign on the back, and a ballcap that said Go Teeth!

“You’ll probably need these,” said Jeff. He handed each a pair of peculiar glasses. There were two small boxes where the lenses should have been.

“Just what kind of game is this?” Badger asked.

“Oh, I should have assumed you wouldn’t know. It’s the Calamity League—two ancient beings are summoned at the same time to fight for dominion over our realm. The game was started a few centuries ago when two rival cults managed to summon their deities at the exact same time. As it turned out, the ensuing battle was so entertaining to watch, the cults put aside their differences and hosted it again the next year. After a while a bracket was set up, and it went on to be our favorite league.”

Bones put the glasses on and nearly fell over. “What are these? What am I looking at?”

“To be exact, the ceiling,” said Jeff. “The games are somewhat dangerous to most species' sanity. Observing such a thing can infinitely expand your mind in a way you can’t comprehend, so we figured out, a good while back, that if you watch through enough lenses you won’t be exposed to dangerous conceptualizations.”

Bones and Badger racked their brains (or lack thereof) trying to figure out how this worked, but they figured it was probably best if they didn’t know.

“So, who’s playing tonight?” Badger asked.

“Oh, it’s gonna be a good one. We’re in the semi-finals and it’s The Hungering One against Daegoro the Pestilent.”

Jeff guided Bones and Badger to the edge of the balcony where they’d be able to watch. A whistle sounded throughout the city, signalling the start of the game. 

The clouds parted and the stars disappeared. The sky was covered with the black ink of nothingness faster than the eye could adjust. Winds picked up speed and carried what little light there was into the sky. Along with the wind, small objects flew around in a whirlwind. 

Badger focused and saw the wind carrying hundreds and hundreds of teeth with it. Teeth of all kinds flew through the air: molars, canines, fangs, and talons, piercing through the ink. The teeth were met by massive swarms of mosquitoes and flies. The swarms were so wide and dense they could have been mistaken for clouds, if only clouds moved that quickly. 

Bones could make out a change in the darkness—something inside it, but he couldn’t quite make out what. The light mixed into the darkness like oil into water and formed an impossibly black ocean. The Stygian surface of the sky was hiding something beneath it, two things to be exact. Underneath all the teeth and insects were two impossibly large creatures locked in a fight so ferocious that it didn’t seem physically possible.

Compared to this event, the feral battle for life and death was pleasant choreography. These two impossible forms would morph, changing to suit whatever vile actions the beings intended. The sky seemed as if night itself was converging on this point, as if the entirety of space was being drawn to this small section above the city.

fter half an hour or so of mind-shattering action the winds died down and the ocean in the sky dispersed back into the cosmos. Bones and Badger were unnerved and unbelievably stricken by this vision. They felt such exhilaration, such a rush of adrenaline having experienced something they couldn’t possibly comprehend. It was unlike anything the investigators had ever felt.

With racing hearts, the investigators took off their glasses.

Jeff was clapping. “Oh, that was a brilliant match!”

Badger’s eyes were focused on the stars, trying to understand how such a thing could be temporary.

Bones felt an immense hunger in his lack of a stomach. “Why am I so hungry?” he asked.

Jeff led them to the door. “Because the Hungering One was the victor, and now we all share his ravenous appetite for the night.”

Back at the Inn, Badger took his turn with the menu, looking for something to quell his new appetite.

“Think I’ll get a Shoggoth Burger. Sounds filling.”

“I think I’m in the mood for a full course of Hobb's End breakfast,” said Bones, holding his hand over where his stomach would be.

Badger could tell Jeff was upset by something. He wasn’t sure how—reading tentacled faces wasn’t exactly his strong suit, but he was certain. “Are you alright, Jeff? You seem troubled.”

Jeff let out a sigh. “I’m sure that you’re not familiar with your client, so I feel it’s my obligation to inform you. I’m sorry to say this, but you’re being lied to.”

Bones scoffed. “Really, you think so? Badger, can you think of a single person who might be lying to us right now?”

Jeff continued. “Your client, V.H. as you call him, isn’t seeking a family heirloom, but a dangerous tool for revenge.”

“Revenge against who?” Badger could tell he wouldn’t like where this was going. 

“The clans of the Beastmen,” Jeff replied.

Bones and Badger hadn’t heard of the Beastmen before, seeing as everything they’d seen in the past hour or so was completely new to them.

Jeff continued. “You see, a few hundred years ago, the Beastmen were at war with a faction known as the Seekers. I’m not sure why the two groups hated each other, but what matters is how the war came to an end. The diplomats of a young Legion City managed to fashion a truce between the two factions, preventing the war from getting large enough to draw in other factions.”

“But if that was centuries ago, why is V.H. looking for revenge? Unless he’s a lot older than he looks.” said Badger.

“One family among the seekers never agreed to the truce. They decided their sacrifices during the war would have been for nothing. The family's grudge against the Beastmen has lasted to this day, living within the last heir of their name,” replied Jeff.

Bones felt like he already knew all this from the start, but it wasn’t worth yelling about it now, although he would definitely yell about it later.

“So what is this jewel, then? Is it dangerous to the Beastmen in some way?”

“Quite the opposite,” said Jeff. “The jewels are used to summon deities which the Beastmen worship, which would make everything less dangerous to the Beastmen. My guess is V.H. plans to summon a beast deity at the final game of the Calamity League.”

“But why would he do that?” asked Badger “Isn’t that kind of the opposite of what he wants?”

Bones had the answer to this one. “If he summons a beast deity, the city would think the Beastmen did it.” Bones turned to Jeff. “I’m guessing that would go against the rules of the truce, right?”

Jeff nodded. “V.H. can’t do much by himself, the Seekers wouldn’t help him. But if the Beastmen broke the truce, the Seekers would take up arms again.” 

“Then why are we so calm about this? You’re saying that we might be on the verge of an old war starting up again?” asked a panicked Badger.

Jeff shook his head. “Don’t worry, V.H. doesn’t seem to realize the jewels can’t be used by anyone other than the Beastmen. Even if he does find one, he’d sooner go insane figuring it out than ask a beastman for help. The way I see it, he has a terrible intent, but he’s as smart as a slightly observant boulder. If I were you, I’d go along with him until I get paid and make sure to never see him again.”

Bones looked up from the table. “Oh, look, here comes the boulder now.”

“Salutations once more,” said V.H. “I’ve found a vault that happens to be close by. We must move immediately.”

Badger stood up. “Guess that food will have to wait. Let’s go then.”

V.H. made for the door at his usual speedy gait.

Badger shook Jeff's hand. “Thanks for the advice, we’ll make sure nothing bad happens.”

Jeff leaned back in his chair and picked up the menu while Bones and Badger made for the door.

“I’m sure you will.” Jeff said to himself.

Bones, Badger, and V.H. were standing in front of a brick wall which V.H. assured them was the entrance to the vault. 

Bones threw his hands up in an angry manner. “This is it, I’m done. You sir, are crazy. I’m sick of it, and I’m hungry.”

“No, it was here! I was certain of it.” V.H. looked at the lack of a door with a puzzled expression.

Bones pointed his finger at V.H. “You’re just certain of everything, aren’t you? Like being certain you need private investigators when we haven’t done a single thing this whole time—and supposedly getting paid for it.”

V.H. and Bones spiralled off into another frantic argument. It seemed Bones had the upper hand since he could call V.H. an idiot faster than V.H. could explain anything. Badger noticed a single loose brick in the wall, and wondered if he should push it to open the secret door, or just sit back and watch the fireworks. He decided to push it.

Bones and V.H. stopped arguing when they heard the grinding of stone.

They looked to the wall and saw Badger standing in the doorway, whistling to himself. 

Badger looked up as if he were surprised. “Oh, are you guys finished? We can stay if you want.”

V.H. stormed through the door. Bones told Badger to shut up.

The door led them into an underground corridor which continued for about thirty seconds of awkwardly silent walking until they came to a locked door with glowing runes on its frame.

Badger didn’t have a loose brick to push and wasn’t sure what to do. 

Bones raised his hand to the runes, which caused them to glow. Glowing numbers emerged from the runes and formed a circle as a chime played from the door.

“What is this arcane foolery? Some kind of puzzle?” asked Badger while Bones moved the numbers around.

“It’s a simple code mechanism…” Bones said “...It wants the numbers returned in a certain pattern that is defined by the chime. Just give me a second and I’ll have it figured out...”

Badger and V.H. stood aside waiting for the door. Badger put his hands in his pockets.

“So, you see the game earlier?”

V.H. shrugged. “All life is a game, Badger.”

Badger looked up at the ceiling. “Of course you’d say that.”

There was a click, indicating Bones had unlocked the door. It swung open and revealed a large room full of gold and trinkets. V.H. walked through without hesitation, but Bones and Badger were trying to figure just how much money they were looking at.

“Come, gentlemen, you can gawk at the spoils later. We have a jewel to find!” 

Bones and Badger shook their heads a little to clear their minds, then began wading through the piles of gold. Badger was sorting through a pile of rubies and garnets when he realized just how difficult this was going to be.

“Any luck?” yelled V.H. from further in the room.

“Nothing yet.” Badger yelled back.

Bones was digging through an open treasure chest, wondering why someone would bother having a chest when the vast majority of riches were just sitting in piles on the floor. 

“How are we supposed to find this thing?” Bones asked Badger. 

“I don’t know,” said Badger.  “We’ll find it eventually. I mean, I don’t know what we expected, it’s not like it’s just going to be sitting right on top of…”

Badger stopped short at the sight of The Jewel, sitting on top of a pile of gold. 

“Hey Bones, look at that, ain’t that convenient?”

Badger climbed up to the top of the pile and grabbed their prize, but it was caught on something below the gold-covered surface.

“Hey Badger, I think you should get down from there,” said Bones. 

“Relax, I’ve almost got it.”

Badger then realized why Bones was telling him to get down. The gold pile beneath him started to shift.

“There’s a monster under here, isn’t there?”

Badger was knocked off his feet by a large, clawed hand.

Bones helped Badger to his feet and they ran for the door. Badger looked back and saw a massive beast emerge—some kind of giant werewolf. It’s right eye had been replaced with a spherical red jewel, the spherical red jewel to be exact. 

V.H. came around the corner to see what was happening, and began saying something to the monster that was probably about thirty syllables too long. 

The Monster roared in response as V.H. drew a sword from his cane.

“I knew it wasn’t just a cane!” yelled Bones.

V.H. slashed at the monster, ducking and dodging each swipe of the monster’s claws. The sword didn’t seem to be doing much damage—if anything it was making the monster angrier.

Badger stopped.

“Bones, we can’t just leave him here, he’s going to get himself killed! We need to get paid!”

“Look at him,” Bones turned and pointed at V.H. “This is exactly where he wants to be right now.”

Badger looked at V.H. and saw the most certifiably insane smile he’d ever seen.

“Point taken.” Badger scooped gold into an urn and ran after Bones.

♦

The next day Bones and Badger were back in the office. Badger sat in a fancy new chair putting on his beat up old shoes.

Bones was trying out a new hat.

“So I guess we probably shouldn’t be taking work from shady people anymore.” said Badger.

Bones found the hat placement he was looking for. “That wasn’t my fault, now was it?”

Badger let out a sigh. “Alright, I admit that one was my fault, but we did get a good payday out of it. You think V.H. was okay after that?”

Bones shrugged. “I figure he’s fine. He’s very good at disappearing.”

Badger stood up and made his way to the door. “Good enough for me. Now come on, the game’s starting soon, and I don’t want to be late for the Finals.”

“Yes, let’s not keep Jeff waiting,” said Bones. “Oh, and we don’t want to forget these.”

Bones grabbed a pair of foam fingers which had HUNGERING ONE written on both sides.